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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?